As if we needed further proof...

...that the party of Lincoln has become the party of Douglas.

Exhibit A: Mitt Romney. (with all due apologies to Monty Python)

Point One: You pathetically passe, flip-flopping, pandering git.

Point Two: When your peeps--the party of Moola Uber Alles--can't understand the economics of contraception, how do you expect to have the brains to figure out how to pay for all the unwanted zygotes that will flood the social system? Better yet--why don't you volunteer to adopt them ALL? Squelching contraceptive funding has consequences. And you should bear them (and personally, dammit!) more than anyone when you presume to make life-decisions for those far more vulnerable than you, who will never, EVER have to worry about making the rent.

Point Three: You pathetically passe, flip-flopping, pandering git.

Point : Contrary to your puerile Presidential power-fantasies (not unlike Spaceballs' Lord Dark Helmet's action figure role-playing), EX-GOVERNOR, EX-CANDIDATE, EX-RELEVANT Mister Romney, Gitmo's policies are not, in fact, the handiwork of the Executive Branch. You might have glossed over it in your law classes, but there are actually three branches of Government. That's what separates us--albeit barely in this day and age--from dictatorship. In case you didn't notice it during your round of glad-handing, not everyone agrees that the Bush Junta exercised the best judgment in what, exactly constituted "the worst of the worst." And by "best judgment" I also mean not making $#!+ up out of pure childish spite at not getting your way.

Point Five: You pathetically passe, flip-flopping, pandering git.

Point Six: There is NOOOOO!!! Point six.

Point Seven: You pathetically passe, flip-flopping, pandering git.

. . .

Actually, I could go on (and on) about the Mitster's predictions for the "fallout" from the stimulus package, but I think that the hypocrisy is pretty self-evident. Do a simple Google search for "Romney" and "bailout" or "Romney" and "TARP" and all but the Limbaugh-sucking Kool-Aid-snorters will see quite clearly that government spending is only socialist and irresponsible and dangerous when it's not handed to suits who make a [cough] "living" [cough] shoving numbers around on spreadsheets when they're not schmoozing with other, more alpha-suits.

(Not that I'm a fan of much of huge spending, mind you; it's the mind-boggling, sociopathic country club tribalism of the hypocrisy that galls me more than anything. I want to see these fat bastard kleptocrats and their enablers ostracized, pauperized and just plain ground into the filth as only hopeless poverty can grind a spirit.)

But, back in the Reality-based Community, Mittens has to get over himself: Right now he's basically Sarah Palin minus the nylons and pumps. Even the grandstanding Guiliani has more dignity, and he's actually donned nylons and pumps. Not exactly the high ground there, hey, Mitt?

On the bright side, though, I hope that Romney and Limbaugh and O'Reilly and Coulter and Hannity and the whole auto-fellating lot of them keep screeching. Loudly. Ringing in the ears of those who actually work for a living...or would be working if the bankrollers of these louts hadn't swept every last crumb out when they raided America's cookie-jar. America's historic memory once in a great while runs long. Remember 2004? Laissez-faire capitalism and "moral values" don't exactly pay the bills in 2009, now do they? Neither does immigrant-bashing, gay-baiting, stem-cell-coddling or politicizing-everything-that-isn't-red-hot. Bottom line: Even faith-based initiatives are grounded in cold, hard cash. And so I hope that the silver lining of the recession of 2009 and 2010 is that it brands into our race-memory the lesson that obsessing over bedroom shenanigans to the complete exclusion of boardroom criminality has very dire consequences for a society.

As much as I want to see a vibrant multi-party system, I'm still hoping that the GOP still doesn't get it. Understand that don't mean to detract in the least from Michael Steele's resounding achievement being elected as the head of the RNC today. (Take THAT, Strom Thurmond, you hypocritical child-molester) But my gut says that anyone--and I do mean anyone--elected to that post is like the Prime Minister of a coalition government, and doomed accordingly. The racist underpinnings of the GOP (David Duke, anyone?) have become too emboldened by the troglodytes-in-charge for the last fifteen years and more. Steele will be thrown under the bus--assuming that he isn't blatantly ordered to sit at the back of it--and replaced by someone of sufficiently Neanderthal political leanings. Or the party will split after another drubbing in the polls.

Either way, good riddance to them and their @#$%^&-up priorities.